You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
