I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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