omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
