I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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