I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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