my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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