Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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