Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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