Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize