Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize