The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
