How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You ate ashes out of my bong
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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