i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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