she woke up with a sticky ear
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
