he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
