Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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