What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
