I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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