No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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