She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize