Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
