I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
