thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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