i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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