so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
