i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
