I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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