I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
