I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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