i think my mom watched the whole time
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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