Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
