he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
