very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
