i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
