I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
