Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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