It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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