I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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