I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
