Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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