if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
