He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
