woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
