Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
