Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
