Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
