Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
