Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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