Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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