don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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