You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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