so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
