i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
