did you get engaged???
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Randomize
