dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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