I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
