He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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