On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
