are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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