from now on my penis is your penis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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