I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
