If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize