i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
